The Writer’s Block

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The Writer’s Block

It is like being trapped in a hole

So dark, you can’t see anything

You want to scream your lungs out

For someone to come to your rescue

But you are afraid because not everyone understand that feeling

You keep telling yourself that it is okay

Just to hush the voices in your head

You count the days, days became months

Nothing is okay, because you cannot do something you dearly love

And you are in the corridors of uncertainty whether to give up or not

Because the hole keeps getting darker and seem more deeper

It hurts so much and I don’t want to be trapped in this hole anymore

I want to see light and write and be whole again

For the past months I have been battling, beating myself trying so hard to do my very best, but time to time I failed and disappointed myself because I could not write. It was like something is blocking my creative thoughts, it’s like they are frozen or something. I would sleep late at night staring at the blank pages in my book, and wake up in the morning just to stare at the very same blank pages again, trying to win the battle. It is a feeling filled with anger and frustration and by writing this I wanted to open up to myself. To try and describe how is like when  the one thing that you deeply enjoy doing(writing) and love so whole-heartedly , you slowly start to feel disconnected to , but with time things do get better and I feel like I am slowly winning the battle these days.

(c) Bonolo Bridget Nkoketsang, 2015

Picture : Myself

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